Terms Of Endurement. Humor is cheaper than therapy.

"I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me" (Abraham Lincoln in a letter to A. G. Hodges).

"Things are not always what they seem" (Phaedrus, Book IV. Fable 2,5).

Lengthy tenures in the communications and software development industries taught me two important lessons: one's ability to get the job done often depends on uncontrollable external influences, and having a sense of humor is a good way to prevent unnecessary screaming.

Although I do love to scream.

Here then, a collection of trade terms whose original definitions began to change about the time reality crept up and tackled me from behind.